I’m Sorry It Had to Be You My Black King: Dr. Huxtable Has Been Proven Guilty


Bill Cosby has been caught red-handed. Thank God we got the verifiable proof that we needed because thirty victims just wasn’t enough information. We live in a world where women are conniving and obsessed with being pitied. We can’t help but conjure up lies of assault  due to our varied insecurities and our obsession with attention. Another thing both black and white women especially cannot stand is the idea of a rich and powerful brother in his winter years with a scot-free track record. That doesn’t make sense to us. White people were itching for vengeance after he attempted to purchase NBC back in the 90s and enlisted us to do their dirty work. Or so we thought, because that theory made way more sense than Cliff Huxtable actually being a rapist.

I’m not saying rapists don’t exist, but I will only believe it when the rapist himself admits it on record. Otherwise, we only have the word of hormone-prone women. And what good is their word? No, rape can only be confirmed if the only people with common sense (men, not to be confused with women) expose it. I had a feeling that Dr. Huxtable did do it because over thirty women said so, but my tiny emotional brain tends to be susceptible to anything. Us women can be pretty gullible and naive. The men in my life who guide and protect me all believed that even if Ghost Dad was in fact guilty, some of those bitches had to be lying. No man would rape more than two to three women tops in their lifetime. Some of those women must still be lying because as women we simply can’t help it.

But I sympathize with my brother’s decision to side with Cosby. It’s not often that men are bamboozled by the icons they exalt, I don’t know whether to be more upset at the rapes or the fact that his true fans have to take back everything they said in Cosby’s defense. I’m so sorry for you Jill Scott, you just needed proof like the rest of us. I mean anybody who claims to be raped can take those guys to court where they’d have to tell the truth. It’s so simple.  I cannot imagine the humiliation Heathcliff’s supporters must be going through, I wish there was something I could do. I could start by never exposing my own pain inflicted by men so that they don’t ever have to go through these kinds of discussions and face such shame ever again. Little Bill should be ashamed of himself for raping (some) of those women – but you know what? He still never actually admitted to raping them in particular, so there’s still a chance he’s more innocent than we think!

Let this be a lesson about how we deal with rape. It is not up to a woman, or several, to decide to “reclaim their power” or whatever feminist rhetoric they’ve unfortunately confused with fact. Because if it comes from a female, then it’s just her word over his and everything is up for speculation. It’s all just hearsay. It is up to the man to decide to own up to his crimes, even if that means the destruction of his legacy and possible loss of freedom (personally I’d just keep it to myself if that much was at risk but I’m a woman so I’m sneaky like that). Let Bill Cosby’s 2005 deposition and admission be the lesson we so dearly needed. It’s such a shame it had to be him. Who will raise Black America through television sets now?

This is satirical.

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Ar. Natsai

2 thoughts on “I’m Sorry It Had to Be You My Black King: Dr. Huxtable Has Been Proven Guilty

  1. “I’m not saying rapists don’t exist, but I will only believe it when the rapist himself admits it on record.”

    What if they never admit it but they did it? How about this? Not blame the victim and wait for evidence (ie, rape kit). That statement alone is so ignorant because you instantly blame the victim. I understand that, “innocent until proven guilty” but what you are saying is “innocent until the suspect admits guilt.”


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