For a while now, I’ve been meditating on this question, “At which point/moment in my life did I feel the most safety? At which moment did I feel the most loved?”
The memory came back to me last night. For me, it was when I was a child laying on my mother’s chest. Hearing her heartbeat and her lungs inflate. Retiming my breaths so it could match hers. Feeling her laughter form from within while she was on the phone. Knowing that I’ll never feel rejection under her arm and bosom. A lot of resentment between then and now clouded my memories of love but since resolving those issues my child self has been returning. The love that only my spirit knows is becoming more comprehensible and it feels good.
I opened my eyes and said, “That – that is how I want to feel again. That’s what’s been missing.”
Just to close my eyes and know that I’m safe with someone. The world melts away, and it’s just me laying on your universe. But really, I’ve been doing this work not merely to attract love for myself but to pass on that legacy of being a state of peace for my own loved ones. It just feels like I’m accepting my mission more by the day and I’m really thankful.