Who Needs Kanye West When We Have Donald Glover?

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Let me just set the tone of this piece with a smooth Kanye can go fuck himself. We have a real genius in the building, totes forgot what that even looked like. Thanks for the refresher Donald! Confidence is being comfortable in your skin and speaking truth to power not just being an arrogant asshole oh yeeeeah…

So this past week I’ve witnessed the final descent of an artist who once inspired me to tell stories. There I was, thirteen years old sitting in the back of my brother’s car minding my business when I heard beats. My neck reacted with that bop & swerve combo blackfolk do when the beat is too clean. I was like, “who is thisssss?” as I swallowed my annoyance at my brother because he kept switching through tracks.

But what sold me were the skits. I went from hearing amazing songs with funny lyrics to a hilarious skit of “Broke Phi Broke” frat brothers stepping in pride. And the cycle just continued. A bop, a laugh – repeat. I couldn’t wait for my brother to pick me up again, so I went out and bought my first album: The College Dropout.

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Nobody Made You Do a Got. Damned. Thing Taylor

I’m like a week late watching Taylor Swiftless snitch on herself I know, I know. But I love myself a lot so why would I be in a rush to watch this bullshit? It’s eternally #TeamSelfCare all day ’round here bruh.

Before I begin this flame session, for all my masochists outchea you can watch this dumpster fire here… but I promise you family. You are better off saving the four minutes and sixteen seconds of your life. Don’t look at me like that when I’m only lookin out for you. One day you’ll be thinking bout these seconds on ya deathbed don’t play. I myself wish I could get that time back but I watched it so you¬†specifically wouldn’t have too. You could use those precious minutes to donate to Hurricane Harvey relief, watch some old Beyonce’ concert footage, or treat yoself to a couple of¬†@lalasizahands89 videos.

Now I know y’all said the Look What You Made Me Do video was terrible … but GOT. damned. You ever need to see some shit to believe it? Dass me right now. People love to drag folks these days for anything so I didn’t wanna hop on that bandwagon, but nah son. By all means, Swiftless earned this one. Her blonde white girl privilege allows her to roam freely within a white supremacist society so she don’t gotta work too hard, but she inadvertently put the work in for this dragging. Particularly drag this bitch ’til winter comes for the sake of the culture.

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