Rest In Peace, Stan Lee

This quote resonates with me because I’m filled with characters not yet realized. Sometimes I think the exact same thing, especially growing up with so many ppl in medicine whose children chose that or law or engineering.

For so long I thought I was useless because I excelled in nothing mathematic nor scientific. The only thing I did well was wonder. I wondered why people behaved the way they did. How did we end up here? What do other universes and stars and quasars look like?

I imagined alternate realities and wondered what if. There is nothing in our curriculum that overtly tells us that this way of thinking, of being, can sustain you – until I read the worlds Stan Lee created and the worlds of so many more writers. All of the fictional, and once considered benign, universes that shaped our culture for generations. The people who can’t give up on their visions, change the world.

Life depends on science but the arts make it worth living

– #RIPStanLee

The Aftermath of Kavanaugh

I, and so many, are currently walking with so much internalized rage due to the direction this country has taken because of the fact that we had a progressive black president. We live and function with so much rage.

I was borne into a world that told me we were Martin Luther King’s dream come true. That finally, after centuries of systemic torture, we lived in a post racial society. I was raised to believe that if you dream you can achieve. I believed in conviction. But this world today mocks my naïveté.

It’s hard living in a world that goes out of its way to negate my existence. It’s a silly world focused on trivial manners. It was all so simple once. Our ancestors were carefree. We don’t know what freedom is.

I have my own goals and dreams that’s hard enough to pull of in a stable society. I want to achieve my purpose and stay focused. But I wonder about the rebels of revolutions past…

They didn’t enter this world with overturning ruling classes as their goal. Their dream lives too were derailed due to conflicts out of their control. Eventually, they were forced to take action in the face of impossible odds.

People don’t fold to oppression, it’s against human nature. The moment comes when tides turn and empires are challenged. Tea ends up in harbors. Slave ships get taken over by its captives. Medieval fortresses get ran up on.

I do believe we are descending upon the horizon of a historic revolution. You can’t double down on centuries of injustice, greed, and unbridled hatred and think things will keep carrying on as is. I look forward to our grandchildren however, because it won’t be us.

We internalized the propaganda that this place is the greatest country on earth and can’t undo it. We think this system is efficient although historically it’s neglected and taken advantage of millions of lives and we don’t want to come to grips with that. We want our dreams and can’t unsee it or abandon it.

I’m no revolutionary. But I can’t deny that it’s coming because hope never folds. Not under any circumstances.

“When dictatorship is a fact, revolution becomes a right.” – Victor Hugo

(Still vote though!)

– Carefree Maroon

Have You Ever Got Thru A Storm & Went APESHIT?

I’m not even gunna bullshit y’all. I’ve been dealing with depression for the past two months and I’ve recently been coming out of it. 

I had an epiphany this past week during my visit back home to New York.  I always knew that although I’m eloquent and can hold interesting conversations, I can’t seem to express my emotions. Especially not in my time of need or darkest hour. Instead I just disappear. I put on a face, I post funny shit online and that’s that. Everything is fine.

But I’ve had to face a series of uncomfortable truths about myself in these past weeks. I had to battle the pressure of my need to be perfect. Like it’s literally the definition of my name. Natsai means “towards perfection” I shit you not.

Continue reading “Have You Ever Got Thru A Storm & Went APESHIT?”

Who Needs Kanye West When We Have Donald Glover?

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Let me just set the tone of this piece with a smooth Kanye can go fuck himself. We have a real genius in the building, totes forgot what that even looked like. Thanks for the refresher Donald! Confidence is being comfortable in your skin and speaking truth to power not just being an arrogant asshole oh yeeeeah…

So this past week I’ve witnessed the final descent of an artist who once inspired me to tell stories. There I was, thirteen years old sitting in the back of my brother’s car minding my business when I heard beats. My neck reacted with that bop & swerve combo blackfolk do when the beat is too clean. I was like, “who is thisssss?” as I swallowed my annoyance at my brother because he kept switching through tracks.

But what sold me were the skits. I went from hearing amazing songs with funny lyrics to a hilarious skit of “Broke Phi Broke” frat brothers stepping in pride. And the cycle just continued. A bop, a laugh – repeat. I couldn’t wait for my brother to pick me up again, so I went out and bought my first album: The College Dropout.

Continue reading “Who Needs Kanye West When We Have Donald Glover?”

The Barbecue Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Serena rolled her would-be engagement ring between her knuckles and palm. She examined the single round-cut diamond and gold band. I don’t know much about karats, she wondered to herself, but this is gorgeous. As soon as she heard Silas turn the shower off she dashed over to his suitcase and put the ring back in its box. On the night of the barbecue while Silas slept, Serena searched through his luggage for the ring. It wasn’t very well hidden which made Serena feel bad for looking because it meant he trusted her enough to know she wouldn’t do what she was doing. But Serena needed answers; it had been two days since the failed family gathering and Silas only kept to himself. Nothing she did was enough to get through to him; his ego was in deep recovery. I understand, Serena thought. But to cut me out like this is cruel. My parents are divorcing and he hasn’t even comforted me. Is that someone I want to spend the rest of my life with? So what if Daddy hurt his feelings? She grew angrier by the minute with these thoughts running through her head and unzipped Silas’ suitcase to take out the ring.

Continue reading “The Barbecue Chapter 2”